I’ve not been coping with life very well at all. At least, thats how it feels. I’d hoped to try to leave the house today but not only is nerve pain threatening in a couple of places but the rollercoaster digestive system that is life with pain meds also has other ideas and my stomach started cramping just as I was about to attempt to get dressed in ‘outside’ clothes.
Its wonderfully sunny out there in the real world today and I’m feeling thoroughly dispondent at the thought of yet ANOTHER day spent housebound.
I’ve not been able to face my inbox/email properly for ages, or Twitter, Facebook, writing to or even texting friends. The Nourish Creativity group and site have been totally neglected…my muse has pretty much deserted me. I can’t muster up enthusiasm for much of anything and just want to retreat from life. My pain is bad, the fatigue even worse. I’m irritable, over sensitive and it doesn’t take much at all for me to feel overwhelmed. Especially when it comes to sensory information – noise especially. Conversations are draining me even more than usual, probably because I’m finding it very hard to concentrate or take in new information.
The oven is on its last legs, another ring on the cooker has packed in, the dyson didn’t work for a bit (though I managed to sort that out) the electric shower is leaking from the unit, my car battery died, the printer died, the air purifier died…get the picture? If I was able to, I’d run away…
I’m behind with listening to Michael Nobbs’ podcasts, so the one I listened to today is from 29th April. He quoted from an early edition of The Beanie about the power drawing has for switching off worries, because it forces the analytical part of the brain to focus on recording what it’s seeing. But I find observational drawing too exhausting these days, I’m curious – does anybody else feel the same? He’s spot on, it is a form of mediation, but I’ve had to think of ways around my fatigue.
I found these mandala colouring books the other week. (She has freebies to download on her website.) Yesterday I forced myself to scan two of them and print them onto watercolour inkjet paper, (yes, I had buy a new printer. TG for online shopping.) Today (Tuesday) I would dearly love to sit in the conservatory and start to paint one of them. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Sitting upright uses energy. As does getting out the paints etc. Holding a brush hurts my hand – though I found these which are helping. If I manage even a little meditative painting, I’ll post a photo…
More info about colouring mandalas here.
More art books here. (Not left notes about all of them, and haven’t got all of them, but I have read a lot of reviews etc…adding notes to the ones I have is on my list of things to do…)
I did paint…decided it was time for some ferocious self care. (Another Nobbs Cast mentioned this podcast.)