I recently posted a postcard sized painting like this one, (but not this one coz it’s secret…) to the Gardening for the disabled Trust’s forthcoming silent auction. 

*This particular painting is now available for sale – sorry that my web shop STILL isn’t live yet, and my Etsy shop virtually empty. (I’m sure you can guess why that is…) Just use the contact page to mail me for further details if you wish to buy it.

I was unfamiliar with this charity’s work until a Facebook friend posted about the auction and their request for postcard sized art donations from artists. (Like the Twitter Art exhibit.) 

There have been donations from a wide variety of folks, from celebs to popular artists to amateurs like me. The auction is secret – so you wont know who the artist is until you’ve bought the postcard – cool huh? The event is a live one, but you can bid online too.

Artwork donations need to reach them by the end of the month. The original closing date was April 23rd. It’s now June 1st. For more info on the auction, 

click here for their letter and here for details about the auction itself.

Click here for more info about the Gardening for Disabled Trust.

 

Fragile… week 33.

Damaged and delicate
Flimsy and frail
Hating my hormones for making me wail.
Easily broken
Slow to repair
Hunting for something I fear isn’t there
Looking for hope in what remains of each day
But too brittle and battered to find the right way.

What am I aware of today? That Fibromyalgia sucks big time stylee.

What should you, dear Reader, be aware of? (Besides it sucking.) These stickers/printables give the short definition. The longer explanation…well, that’s a toughy. You really do need to live with a chronic illness to fully understand it, so I suppose in an ideal world nobody would understand. But to be aware of? Maybe this list of links is a start;

• What not to say to a chronic illness sufferer.
• Great analogy that illustrates fatigue, and explains the term ‘Spoonie.‘
• A list of the medication I take. Needs oral morphine added to it now.
• Longer definition of what fibro is.
• A new, more accurate, pain scale. (This is awesome.)

She also just posted her first blog post in about 18 months. It’s well worth a read.

Some of the links on my Fibro Bites site need updating, I wanted to have that done by today, but alas haven’t managed to do so. So apologies for any faulty links.

 

I’ve not been coping with life very well at all. At least, thats how it feels. I’d hoped to try to leave the house today but not only is nerve pain threatening in a couple of places but the rollercoaster digestive system that is life with pain meds also has other ideas and my stomach started cramping just as I was about to attempt to get dressed in ‘outside’ clothes.

Its wonderfully sunny out there in the real world today and I’m feeling thoroughly dispondent at the thought of yet ANOTHER day spent housebound. 

I’ve not been able to face my inbox/email properly for ages, or Twitter, Facebook, writing to or even texting friends. The Nourish Creativity group and site have been totally neglected…my muse has pretty much deserted me. I can’t muster up enthusiasm for much of anything and just want to retreat from life. My pain is bad, the fatigue even worse. I’m irritable, over sensitive and it doesn’t take much at all for me to feel overwhelmed. Especially when it comes to sensory information – noise especially. Conversations are draining me even more than usual, probably because I’m finding it very hard to concentrate or take in new information.

The oven is on its last legs, another ring on the cooker has packed in, the dyson didn’t work for a bit (though I managed to sort that out) the electric shower is leaking from the unit, my car battery died, the printer died, the air purifier died…get the picture? If I was able to, I’d run away…

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I’m behind with listening to Michael Nobbs’ podcasts, so the one I listened to today is from 29th April. He quoted from an early edition of The Beanie about the power drawing has for switching off worries, because it forces the analytical part of the brain to focus on recording what it’s seeing. But I find observational drawing too exhausting these days, I’m curious – does anybody else feel the same? He’s spot on, it is a form of mediation, but I’ve had to think of ways around my fatigue.

I found these mandala colouring books the other week. (She has freebies to download on her website.) Yesterday I forced myself to scan two of them and print them onto watercolour inkjet paper, (yes, I had buy a new printer. TG for online shopping.) Today (Tuesday) I would dearly love to sit in the conservatory and start to paint one of them. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Sitting upright uses energy. As does getting out the paints etc. Holding a brush hurts my hand – though I found these which are helping. If I manage even a little meditative painting, I’ll post a photo…

More info about colouring mandalas here.

More art books here. (Not left notes about all of them, and haven’t got all of them, but I have read a lot of reviews etc…adding notes to the ones I have is on my list of things to do…)

 

• A friend sent a link to a Guardian article about neuroenhancers. I need to do some research…if anyone reading this has tried them, please let me know how it went. Thanks.

 

*~***~* 

I did paint…decided it was time for some ferocious self care. (Another Nobbs Cast mentioned this podcast.)

 

 

So that folks can print them larger or upload them to Zazzle to get them/it printed on something, here are PDF files of the various versions.

• Please note – these are for personal use only. If you sell them, you’re stealing and thats bad karma folks…

 

Click the image or here for the PDf for the white version.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click image or here for the purple version.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click here for the orange version.

Finally click here for a PDF with all three versions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’re hurtling towards this years Fibromyalgia Awareness day – May 12th – so I made some printables. They are designed for a sheet of labels 7×3. One sheet has 21 of these;

The other has 21 of these;

Download the PDFs by clicking a link -

• White stickers
• Purple stickers

Any problems, let me know. If you want any other sizes or colours, please leave a comment thanks.

I managed to do a blog post for the Nourish Creativity blog on Friday, so was hopeful that I could write something to go with this weeks photo. So I waited to feel able to write…but it’s not happening. Hormones/fatigue/pain etc are all taking their toll right now and I’m having to retreat to cope with it all. It happens every once in a while, like a kind of sensory overload – I have to limit the incoming data because I just can’t cope with it all. I don’t think it’s depression…but, really, I suppose the reasons are unimportant. It is what it is.

I found myself folding some scrap paper into a little book, partly to see if the shape of the paper would work. Then I doodled in it – mostly because I don’t quite know what to do with myself. I’m too tired to watch TV, my eyes are too sore to read…and its too early to go back to bed because of the time that I need to take my last meds of the day. Here’s my doodle book;

I read this blog for the first time this week, and this paragraph perfectly put into words what I think I mean by sensory overload,

“Because when you’re chronically ill… a bug is just like Special Sauce on that Hamburger of Constant Pain. And because I’m in constant pain, I have zero immunity. It uses so much energy for me to be ill, I’ve got nothing left. And because of my pain meds and various reactions to chemicals, there isn’t much for me to turn to when I catch something. ”

I ended up at this blog because of her post about depression.

Here’s an article about a diet for neurological disorders. I think a friend sent it…or it may have come from one of the way too many blogs that I subscribe to…I’m going to have to ruthlessly whittle these down. I can’t cope with them all. Can’t seem to cope with much at all at the moment.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Last night I made this collage on my phone.

…and this week’s (well, last week’s) photo is another selfie;

 

 

“Don’t do that again!”

“Was it too scary?”

“No it wasn’t too scary. But it was…a bit scary.”

- My giant, during a re-telling of Jack and the beanstalk, was apparently a bit too full on…

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This didn’t start out as one of my iPhone photos, it was taken by my cousin and he uploaded it to Facebook. I’ve been doing that a lot this week – playing with other people’s photos. Because…

…my muse has forsaken me. Sensory overload has contributed to fatigue and my need to create is withering.

The BlogPad pro app just lost a whole post cant manage to write it all again. For now, here are the images from this week. Created from a photo that my 8 year old cousin took of herself using the front camera on my iPhone.