“You sow in tears before you reap joy”

Quote by Ralph Ransom.
The rest of the quote is:

Before the reward there must be labour. You plant before you harvest.

Well over the years I’ve done a massive amount of labouring, planting and tending. Yet here I am still sowing tears and trying to deal with a cornucopia of wretched things…and mostly because of an awful night, the black dog arrived and I was suddenly overwhelmed and utterly defeated.
I am truly thankful that I managed a good nap and now feel less suicidal. This serves to further reinforce the massively negative effect that sleep deprivation has on emotions, amongst other things. No wonder the suicide rate is so high amongst people with Fibro.

The need for valium continues and my GP has also doubled my SSRI dose.

After three blood tests Mum’s been diagnosed with diabetes and but has to wait for yet another appointment before any treatment will begin, which will probably be in about a month. Our GP made an urgent referral for her to see a consultant at the chest clinic in early December of last year. Then rang up to try to hurry things along for mum and the appointment is…April 15th. If you’re reading this and live outside the UK, be grateful.

Discovered a new app, thanks to Instagram. It’s called ‘Waterlogue.’



  1. Hey Sand. I am so glad you managed to get some sleep. Must be so much to go through, with your mom being so ill and you trying to balance your health as well. So much to juggle! You are an angel.

    You have been coping with so much…..and surviving with your immense strength + nurturing. You are a trooper indeed. We all have much to learn from you!

    Hugs and love to you from Canada. xo sandy p

    • Did I reply to this yet…?!? So sorry πŸ™ I seem to be woefully behind with EVERYTHING! Not sure how much of a trooper I am, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other…wobbling now and again. Same as everyone else. We all have trials and burdens. Thanks ever so much for your kind words, they are much appreciated. xox

  2. PS love thus rendition if your ‘Noble Voyageur’ fox! πŸ™‚

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